To all the teachers I have had or still have

 I'm sorry I didn't turn in your assignment

last night I was cradling a bottle of any existing kind of drug 

wondering if I was going to see the next morning;

I wasn't too afraid about the economic effects of World War II,

I was more worried that if I didn't disappear

then I'd have to turn your homework in

and if I didn't 

my guiltiness would have me disappear.

Yes, I know my grades are failing

but I haven't been able to look in the mirror in three days

and I keep forgetting to eat.

 I know I've missed too many classes

I couldn't get out of bed

the weight of my own expectations and fears sat upon my shoulders

pulling me back into my matress with each pathetic attempt

 to bring myself back to reality.

I promise you I've thought about how I'm behind,

it cripples me with anxiety, becomes paralyzing 

telling me I'm better off just going back to bed

leaving me with racing intrusive thoughts,

hopeless,

convincing myself everything I do is wrong,

thinking I can't fail your class if I don't make it to the end.

It's a race to the finish line

let's see who's winning first:

if the end of the quarter

or the pressure.