I lied

I spent some nights crying

woke up, asked people if they were fine

and while I'm drinking at night

I wonder why did I even try to

show my emotions

it only made me feel a glass child

'cause my fucking talking cricket doesn't want me alive

So I lie

I lie but this isn't me

it's the person that the other ones wish that I could be

so I lie

and I lie so many times

'cause it's better to say I'm fine

than 

I wish that I was dying

 

And I'm full of scars but I din't fall in a park

and I wrote a million songs but ended up falling apart

and somtimes I'm sorry for asking for help

I only have walk away

'cause I'm starting to think I'm the one that chose

 I'm supposed to feel this way

but I can't get it away

 

Now it's monday night and nothing seems to go right

I can't stop thinking, I

can't change my mindset

but I tried

then what's the point if you only see in black and white

if everything that happens plays on your mind

 

So I lied

I lied but it wasn't me 

it was the person that the other ones wanted me to be

so I lied

I lied so many times

I'm at war with my mind

Am I enough to be alive?

 

And I can't decide what to do next

'cause every step I take just makes me fucking overwhelmed

and I'm so sick now of asking for help

I guess you're wasting time

I  sometimes think you're surely blind

So I lie

I lie but this isn't real

it's hard to be the one that doesn't have to feel

so I lie

I lied to many times

I have no damn will to fight

I don't think I can survive.